Dear Miss Gypsy,

Over the past years I have wanted so bad to become a medium just like the ones that I see on TV. I have spent $1000s on classes, retreats, seminars, books and other things that promise to teach me how to be a medium. All to no avail. What am I doing wrong? I want this so badly I can taste it. Thank you for your input.

…Paula M.

Well, Paula…I get this question all the time and it is a valid one. I hate to break it to ya, but it sorta goes like this. While everyone has psychic abilities and can develop those abilities to one degree or another, the same cannot be said for mediumship. Psychics can be made; mediums are born, not made. Mediumship abilities may take years to surface or one may be “open” to spirit from a very young age, such as was the case with myself. But no amount of money or classes or book reading can give you this ability and I would be very wary of anyone who promises that they can teach you how to be a medium. Not only will you be throwing your hard earned  money away, you will become increasingly disillusioned and much poorer for it both financially and spiritually. Places like Cassadaga and Lilydale may tout themselves as medium-making institutions, but nothing could be farther from the truth. It is sad to say, but they prey upon the vanity and weaknesses of the unsuspecting soul with a romantic notion that they can be another John Edward or Long Island Medium. It simply cannot be done. And, while it may seem lucrative and exciting to be a medium, or the lifestyles of mediums may appear to be glamorous and full of special privileges, nothing could be farther from the truth. Mediumship can be inconvenient, intrusive, misunderstood and downright annoying at times. Fraught with lack of sleep, misunderstanding, stigma and superstition,  the life of a medium can be difficult and alienating, depending upon the circles one travels in or the folks that they may happen to meet up with anywhere along their paths through life. In other words, mediumship can sometimes not be what it seems cracked up to be.

Most people think that mediumship is all about helping the living to connect with their deceased loved ones, and to a minor degree that is true. But this is more of an after effect than the true reality of the ability. In truth, mediums helps the deceased much more that their living counterparts in ways than one could possibly imagine. So, while the living are clamoring to be able to speak with the dead,  the real focus is upon helping the dead make sense of their transitioning, helping them to get their bearings in their new surroundings, helping them to face the notion that they have died and there is nothing they can do about it. The dead long to reach out to a medium or other type of sensitive for validation and to be recognized as still existing even if it is on a totally different plane within a totally different dimension. Having been through my own near death experience, I can testify first hand that the transitioning is confusing and strange if not more than a little bewildering at times. No, the deceased have a much harder time dealing with their lack of physical-ness as they morph away from the three dimensional plane and into a whole other realm of existence, which, by comparison makes our dealing with their departure the lesser of the two stressful situations. And while I do not mean to lessen or belittle those who survive our dead loved ones, imagine that for as much as we are pained by their leaving, they are doubly or even triply distressed by their changing from this material world into the new land of light. We have the good fortune of just suffering their loss while they not only suffer such a loss also, they have to deal with being yanked out of the material world and enter into a whole new realm of living. It can be very bewildering and even frightening for someone who is either not prepared or lacks in the faith of an afterlife. Even the most devout of religious souls can find the transition rather unnerving and disorienting. it is for this that mediums are truly born.

So you see…talking to the dead comes with a great deal of responsibility which makes it a real blessing that one cannot simply read a book or take a course in order to actually experience. In fact, while those who have no mediumship abilities whatsoever pine for the “gift”, it is folks like myself…born mediums…that envy those who lead “normal” quiet lives away from the cacophony of the dead who more or less constantly make themselves known to those who are sensitive enough to hear them or see them. Don’t get me wrong. God bestows us each with our own unique gifts and abilities and i am very grateful for those that He gave to be at birth. But, while some wish and long for gifts they will never possess, there are others who have those gifts that wish they had the ones others have. And so it goes for any ability or talent…whether it be singing or dancing or writing or what have you. Such is human nature, I suppose.

My advice to you is to be grateful for what you have and/or have not and go with it. Maybe one day you will open to the voices and visions of the spirit world. But until then please do not be disillusioned into thinking that this is something that you can buy. Because it certainly is not. And while you may not have the gist of mediumship, there are most certainly other abilities that you may possess that could very well be of equal importance. Take the mediumship blinders off and explore your psychic world, my dear. You never know what treasure you may find…